Have you ever cried…?

December 23rd, 2006

till your chest felt wanna to explode
till you can’t breathe
till your whole body felt teared apart
till your head felt been beaten up
till your tears run empty
till no words appeared on your mind

….

just did

first, it feel so unwell

on my second thougt
I am grateful for those feelings

I was thinking Jesus has been there also
When that thought appeared
My feeling get better

Keep on hoping I’m gonna be better
After all I’ve been living with

Would you accompanying me….?

December 18th, 2006

BILA KAU YANG MEMBUKA PINTU

Segala perkaraku kuserahkan padaMu
Allah pembelaku
Segala kuatirku kutaruh di kakiMu
Allah pemliharaku

Bila Kau yang membuka pintu
Tak ada satupun dapat menutupnya
Bila Kau yang mengangkat aku
Tiada yang dapat merendahkanku

ciptaan: Jonathan Prawira

Lonely

Neglected

Seems nobody care

I used to be could overcome all these unwell-feelings
I used to be strengthened by God’s grace
I used to be had someone to depend on
I used to be provided a person I can talk all about with

For now, those "I used to be things" isn’t work.

For now, I’m so lonely.

For now, I’m neglected.

For now, I can’t see other’s caring.

I keep on asking harder for God’s grace.
Helping me going through all these moments.

Would you accompanying me through your prayers?

I’ll be home for Christmas

December 18th, 2006

1. Do you like chinese food?
* ndak seberapa

2. How big is your bed?
* 110

3. Is your room clean?
* yeah

4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
* laptop

5. Favorite comedian?
* aming hahaha

6. Do you smoke?
* nope

7. Does anyone like you?
* hmmm is there anyone?

8. Whats the sexiest thing about
Condoleeza Rice?
* rice? barusan ta abisin tuh nyam nyammm lumayan kenyang dehhh hahahahaha

10. Sleep with or without clothes on?
* on

11. Who sleeps with you every night?
* biasae dewean, semalem bareng tante

12. Do long distance relationships work?
* he eh, done to my best friend and sister also

13. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
* 2 kali naek mobil, naek motor ngga keitung wakakaka di sini banyak raziaaaa tapi surat2ku kan selalu lengkappp hehehe

14. Pancakes or French Toast?
* pancakes

15. Do you like coffee?
* nope, suka baue tok

16. How do you like your eggs?
* sunny side up

17. Do you believe in astrology?
* i believe to the One who made those stars

18. Last person you talked to on the phone?
* cik lusi

19. Last person on your missed call list?
* tante itje hehehe

20. What was the last text message you received?
* Ok d. Thx ya.Gbu

21. McDonalds or Burger King?
* McD, BK rasae kayak apa dah lali hahahaha

22. Number of pillows?
* duwa

23. Last thing you ate?
* nasi putih n scrambled egg

24. Last thing you bought?
* bensin premium 11,11 liter hehehe

25. What are you hearing right now?
* suarae p–pppp—-pppoooohhhh (suarae piglet) di Winnie the Pooh di Playhouse Disneychannel

26. Pick a lyric?
* Ku telah mati dan tinggalkan…

27. What kind of jam do u like in ur sandwich?
* strawberryyyy hmmmm nyammmm

28. Can you play pool?
* mbuat bolae mencelat hahaha paling jago masukin bola putih hihihihi

29. Do you know how to swim?
* isa gaya batu hahaha meluncur dan tenggelam

30. Favorite ice cream?
* choco chips mint

31. Do you like maps?
* yup, lumayan jadi petunjuk jalan kalo ngga ngaco

32. Tell me a random fact:
* yang ikut PD pemuda dewasa ada 31 orang yang ndaftarrr hehehe banyakkkk

33. Ever had a hard on at work?
* ever

34. Ever attend a theme party?
* ever

35. Ever do a keg stand?
* keg stand? kayak apa itu?

36. Craziest place you’ve slept after a night of drinking?
* selalu di tempat tidur kok

37. What is your favorite season?
* wet, mon fave season mu kok ganti-ganti toh? sebelum ini winter sekarang spring hahaha

38. Where is your favorite hangout?
* movieeeee

39. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
* hmmm dah lama banget… lupa dehh

40. What time did you wake up this morning?
* 06.30

41. Wake up next to anyone?
* tante

42. Best thing about winter?
* snowy, having no winter season here

43. Name a couple of favorite colors:
* yellow and black

44. How old are you?
* 25 years old

45. What month is your birthday in?
* february

46. What are you doing this weekend?
* preparing going home for christmas ^_^

Tawa dalam Kesedihan

December 16th, 2006

Minggu Advent III.

Firman yang dibawain tadi mbuat aku ngerasa susah tapi juga banyak ketawa hahaha. Gimana ngga isa ketawa ngeliat gaya pelayan firman tadi di kebaktian Pak Sigit Poerbandoro. Bagi temen2 yang pernah tau gaya nya Pak Sigit mungkin isa bayangin yah kayak apa hehehe.

Tadi firman Tuhan diambil dari Matius 8:14-17
Berbicara tentang bagaimana teladan Yesus dalam menghadapi orang-orang yang lebih lemah. Dalam Roma 15:1-7 diperintahkan pula untuk kita yang lebih kuat membantu yang lemah. Di sana digunakan kata wajib. Dalam bahasa Yunani nya kata yang dipakai merupakan kata imperatif yang menyatakan itu sebagai sebuah perintah. Kewajiban yang harus dilakukan seperti yang sudah diteladankan Kristus (ayat 3). "Karena Kristus juga tidak mencari kesenanganNya sendiri…"

Di kotbah tadi diceritakan tentang orang-orang yang lemah. Ada 3 macam orang yang lemah. Dalam hal lemah iman, lemah fisik dan lemah sosial ekoniminya. Yesus sudah meneladankan untuk tidak membeda2kan dalam menolong orang yang lemah. Dari kisah Yesus menolong ibu mertua petrus, bisa kita lihat Yesus menolong yang lemah fisik dan lemah ekonomi nya.

Pada saat itu Petrus berumur 50-an tahun. Jadi ibu mertua Petrus kira2 70-an tahun. Lagipula mata pencaharian Petrus adalah seorang nelayan yang sederhana. Namun Yesus datang ke rumah Petrus! Bukannya Yesus menunggu di suatu tempat dan menyuruh Petrus untuk datang bersama ibu mertua nya kepada Yesus. Yesus sendirilah yang berinisiatif mendatangi rumah ibu mertua Petrus!!

Banyaknya teman-teman dan sesama yang mengalami kelemahan mbuat aku ngerasa susah. Dalam kotbah yang disampaikan tadi banyak disinggung mengenai berbagai macam kehidupan orang-orang yang mengalami kelemahan dalam berbagai segi. Susah n sedih pas denger nya namun juga masih isa senyum2 ngeliat gaya Pak Sigit dalam menyampaikannya. Feeling a lil tragic sih. Namun sekali lagi melalui kotbah yang disampein pak sigit tadi aku kembali diingetin dan disemangati untuk senantiasa kasi support bagi orang2 yang membutuhkan. Which is I’ve done so rarely recently.

God have mercy on me for He’s still giving me another day to live and to give a better days i live.
Hoping i’ll be able to make Him smile.

"Kita yang kuat, wajib menanggung kelemahan orang yang tidak kuat dan jangan kita mencari kesenangan kita sendiri.
Setiap orang di antara kita harus mencari kesenangan sesama kita demi kebaikannya untuk membangunnya.
Karena Kristus juga tidak mencari kesenangan-Nya sendiri…"

Roma 15:1-3a (LAI, 1998)

It’s all mixed up!!!

December 4th, 2006

Wuah, these last two days were heavy days I’ve been thru. Wuah sungguhan! The happiness… the sadness… stuck… boring… unfinished jobs… wuah wuah wuahhh! Looks like this wuah will become my fave phares. Hahaha.

Sunday morning
I’ve recieved the news
From my beloved sister
News I’ve heard
Put my heart in pieces
As hers felt the same

As I was driving to service in my church
Feeling so sad
Knowing her heart is broken
I would ever felt what she felt, actually
She’s the closest grandchild to my grandma
Been years she’s spent together with grandma

Having no idea how to cheer her up
Don’t know what to do

This Monday evening
I’ve finished part of my job, finally
Thank God for He keeps me
Felt His loves and cares
From my families and friends

Though it seems simple
Though it seems uncertain
Things I’ve recieved
Loves I’ve accepted
Cares I’ve got
Testifying for He’s carrying me, still
And He’ll always will

All this feeling
Are mixed up!
Feeling unwell
Stuck in jobs
Seems they’re don’t go to an end
Sadness bout the recent news bout my grandma
Broken heart of my dearest sister

Wuah
Wuahh
Wuahhh….

Really need some supports
Want to share all these un-very-well-feeling

Wuaaaahhhh